How to tell if your neighbor is a "ROADIE"...

Trellis in the rose garden appears to be old trussing.

If he's in the IA and mows the lawn, he stops every fifteen minutes for coffee and a smoke.

Their new vinyl siding looks suspiciously like Tolex from old Fender Twins.

His telephone has an XLR out.

Only time you've ever seen a female visitor next door, it was some sweet girl named Connie from out of state...and boy was she "friendly".

A big truck is always blocking your driveway.

He won't let you into the house without an "All Access" pass.

Dog has a laminate.

His tool shed is 53 feet long and has air shocks.

Your daughter asks him to buy Girl Scout Cookies and he says... "Screw that, I'll make a few phone calls and we'll do a benefit".

The motion detector driveway light is a Xenon Gladiator III mounted on the garage roof.

Ringing his doorbell or phoning before noon is "very dangerous".

Clothesline is tuned to A440.

Bizarre obsession with taking showers.

Lawn edging is made from old mic stand bases.

Front sidewalk has white spike tape arrows pointing the way into the house.

He wears a Clear Com headset when mowing the lawn.

Mailbox exploded due to overloading.

New mailbox is made from a converted Anvil briefcase.


And the TOP TEN WAYS are...

10. Doorbell plays "Smoke on the Water".

9. Your landscaper pronounces your lawn dead from "High Decibel Trauma".

8. He kicks your kid's ass at Tetris.

7. His trash cans are always full of brown M&Ms.

6. Has curtains made of black backdrop material.

5. You hear loud music all night, but it's always the same band.

4. Every six months some guy in a ponytail collects the mail and gets back into a cab.

3. Every time they play their stereo the neighborhood power "browns out"..

2. You've been feeding his dog for four years now.


His lawnmower "GOES TO ELEVEN"!

Submitted by Mongo