Classic Rock and Roll lies, famous last words, and excuses for all occasions. Every musician has heard or said some of these at least once in their career!

Onstage and On Tour:

It sounds great out front.
Theyíre prepaid at the airport.
I wonít get drunk on stage tonight.
It sounds better up by the board.
Your nameís on the list.
Iím all packed.
Iíll turn down tonight.
Weíll have a soundcheck tomorrow.
Yes I turned you up.
Iíll get up early and do it in the morning.
Donít worry, thereís a t-shirt for everyone.
Itís only 5 minutes to the venue.
Itís only 5 minutes to the hotel.
Itís only 5 minutes to the airport.
Iíll be down in five minutes.
Donít worry, thereíll be bonuses at the end of the tour.
Of course itís a nice bus.
Itís okay, Iím with the band.
The booking is definite.
The show starts at eight.
My agent will take care of it.
Iím sure it will work.
Your tickets are at the door.
It sounds in tune to me.
Sure, it sounds fine at the back of the hall.
I know your mic is on.
I checked it myself.
The roadie took care of it.
Yes, the spotlights will be on you during your solo.
The stage mix sounds just like the program mix.
Itís the hottest pickup I could get.
The club will provide the P.A. and the lights.
Weíll have it ready before tonight.
If it breaks, weíll fix it free.
The place was packed.
Weíll have you back next week.
Donít worry, youíll be the headliner.
Itís on the truck.
My last band had a record deal, but we broke up before recording the album.
Someone will be there early to let you in.
Iíve only been playing for a year.
Iíve been playing for twenty years.
Weíll have the flyers printed tomorrow.
The band drinks free.
Youíll get your cut tonight - no problem.
Heíll work the door for us tonight.
Youíll have no problem fitting that speaker cabinet in the trunk of your car.
Thereíll be lots of roadies when you get there.
I know weíll get some applause after the next tune.
Weíll have plenty of time for a sound check.
This is one of Jimiís old Strats.
You wonít have to play any requests.
We have this great gig in Vegas next month.
The other band will be glad to let you use their P.A.
I am singing on key, the P.A.ís screwing up.
Sounds good to me.
You wonít have any trouble finding the place.
Iíve played there before.
We can turn down the volume if itís too loud.
I just use this little amp for small gigs - Iíve got a Marshall stack at home.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Sex and Rock & Roll:
Of course I remember you.
I usually donít do this with most girls.
No head - no backstage pass.
No, I wonít come in your mouth.
Sheíll be backstage after the show.
I had nothing to do with your marriage breaking up. Your marriage was on the rocks long before I ever met you.
Can you guys give me fifteen minutes?
I love you.
Drugs and Rock & Roll:
Only one more line, weíll go to bed early.
I donít buy it anymore, but if you have a lineÖ
Iíve got some in my room.
This is the best pot youíve ever had.
A little wonít keep me awake too long.
Itís pure.
In the studio:
Weíll fix it in the mix.
Weíll fix it in the mastering.
Last take. This oneís gonna be perfect.
Letís just keep trying tilí we get a good one.
Iíll get it this time.
Weíll add some digital and reverbÖ itíll sound great.
Play all the way through. Weíll take out what we donít want.
Thatís the way itís supposed to sound.
We wrote it that way.
Edit the end to the intro.
Youíll have Ďem in two weeks.
Just let me try one thing.
This is just the demo. When we do the albumÖ
Weíll overdub that later.
I donít understand. It sounded so good in rehearsal.
Weíll punch it out. Itíll be okay.
Weíll punch it in. Itíll be okay.
Itíll sound terrific on a car radio.
I donít know what it sounds like in there, but it sounds like shit out here.
We didnít change anythingÖ honest.
Letís argue about it, then try it.
Youíve got to move back to hear the low end.
Take the rough mix home and decide tomorrow.
Itís getting there.
Assorted Industry and Management lies:
The checkís in the mail.
Next year weíll work our asses off.
Can you hold for just a second.
Ask me.
Who told you that?
I really love the band.
Weíll have lunch sometime.
Weíll let you know.
Weíll definitely come see you play tonight.
You can depend on me.
No problem.
Weíre working on it.
Iíll see what I can do.
Iíll get back to you.
I was just about to call you.
Iíll call you on Monday.
Trust me.

Sources: Phil Adler, sheets circulated within industry, reader input